From Absence From Felicity by Kenneth Wapnick, Ph.D. It is interesting that people have used Helen's personal life and struggles with the Course as witnesses for and against its authenticity. The positive view was that Helen's ego was so dominant that in no way could she herself have written A Course in Miracles, and so Someone else must have. On the other side, often coming from a more transitional Christian view, others would argue that If Helen's experiences of Jesus were indeed valid, her life would surely have changed. The fact that it did not, therefore, invalidated the experiences. ~~~~~~~~~~ It is difficult indeed to describe Helen's relationship with A Course in Miracles. That it aroused tremendous anxiety in her goes with saying, that she fought with it tooth and nail and determinedly chose, in the end, not to practice its teachings, was also, for her, painfully true. Nonetheless, there remained that part of Helen's mind that cared deeply about the Course and what happened to it. There was thus a maternal aspect to Helen's relationship to the Course, wherein she watched over its birth and infancy with the same care and concern a mother has for her child. I remember one day, shortly after the Course's publication, we were discussing the inevitable process of popularization and distortion that was already beginning to occur. Helen lowered her face between her hands, plaintively whispering: "My poor course; my poor course." Clearly admitting--to herself and to others--her inability to integrate the teachings into her own life, Helen's ego had little tolerance for hypocritical stance of others who believed that they had understood and mastered the Course's profound message, nor who presented its inspired teachings in a superficial manner. Believing that A Course in Miracles was for a very few who would be able really to understand its message and successfully integrate its teachings into their lives, Helen knew the great difficulty the material would present to the world. It was clear to her that people's fearful egos would seek to prevent acceptance of the Course's radical message of forgiveness and truth. It therefore pained Helen in the very early years of publication to witness what was happening with the Course; however, she was not on the other hand, able to assume a role of spiritual leadership. Yet despite the tremendous level of fear which led her to hold tenaciously on to the ego thought system, and her self-hatred over not being able to choose again--for God instead of the ego--Helen's underlying integrity allowed her to remain faithful to the course and her function, albeit in her own "lop-sided" way. Helen's ego was such that she always had to be center-stage. Her dominant and compelling personality made it practically impossible for people in her presence not to have a strong reaction to her, positively or negatively. She was not one that others cold easily ignore. Part of Helen's mind realized that such a situation regarding A Course in Miracles would have been a disaster, for it would have shifted people's focus from the inner Teacher to an external figure, a process of specialness directly antithetic to the Course's message of equality and unity. She was always clear that the central figure in the Course was Jesus (or the Holy Spirit), and both she and Bill were faithful to the positron of not assuming a guru role. On one level I believe that they knew they were setting an example for others who would inevitably follow. Thus, because it did not seem possible for her to remain involved with the Course without her ego, I believe that on another level she chose to get out of the Course's way, rather than "contaminate" it with her ego's need to dominate. Her eventual physical and emotional deterioration was the ultimate expression of this "getting out of its way." Therefore, to the end, as best she could, Helen demonstrated a remarkable integrity in preserving the purity of A Course in Miracles and her role with it. ~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~ Helen Schucman's Final Days During her final months in 1980 and 1981, Helen never left her apartment, except to go to the doctor or hospital. We did not know it until much later, but she was already experiencing the emotional and physical effects of pancreatic cancer, which was likely the cause of her depression. Her worsening condition succeeded in isolating her from practically all of her friends. The discrepancy between the Helen we knew--impeccably groomed and socially appropriate, wise and helpful--and the Helen then--physically disheveled, preoccupied with her own disturbing thoughts, and totally unresponsive to anyone beside her herself--was so glaring as to be disturbing, painful, and even frightening. ~~~~~~~~~~ Helen Schucman died of complications due to pancreatic cancer on February 8, 1981 at the age of 71. As Ken Wapnick descibes, "(She).. had a remarkably quiet expression of peace, so different from the tortured disquiet we had grown so accustomed to … I suddenly recalled what Helen had shared with me on several occasions… Jesus had told her that when she died, he would come for her personally…” Kenneth Wapnick delivered the eulogy two days later on February 11, 1981 at a traditional Jewish funeral. |
Workbook For Students Special Topics - Part 2 |
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