A
Course in Miracles
Chapter
16 - The Forgiveness of Illusions
The
End of Illusions
It is impossible to let the past go without relinquishing the special
relationship. For the special relationship is an attempt to re-enact
the past and change it.
Imagined
slights, remembered pain, past disappointments, perceived injustices
and
deprivations all enter into the special relationship, which becomes
a way in which you seek to restore your wounded selfesteem.
What basis would you have for choosing a special partner without
the past?
Every
such choice is made because of something “evil” in the
past, to which you cling, and for which must someone else atone.
The special relationship takes vengeance on the past. By seeking
to remove suffering in the past, it overlooks the present in its
preoccupation with the past and its total commitment to it.
No
special relationship is experienced in the present. Shades of the
past envelop it, and make it what it is. It has no meaning in the
present, and if it means nothing now, it cannot have any real meaning
at all.
How
can you change the past except in fantasy?
And
who can give you what you think the past deprived you of?
The
past is nothing. Do not seek to lay the blame for deprivation on
it, for the past is gone.
You
cannot really not let go what has already gone. It must be, therefore,
that you are maintaining the illusion that it has not gone because
you think it serves some purpose that you want fulfilled. And it
must also be that this purpose could not be fulfilled in the present,
but only in the past.
Do not underestimate the intensity of the ego’s drive for
vengeance on the past. It is completely savage and completely
insane.
For
the ego remembers everything that you have done which offended it,
and seeks retribution of you. The fantasies it brings to the special
relationships it chooses in which to act out its hate are fantasies
of your destruction. For the ego holds the past against you, and
in your escape from the past, it sees itself deprived of the vengeance
it believes that you so justly merit. Yet without your alliance
in your own destruction, the ego could not hold you to the past.
In
the special relationship, you are allowing your destruction to
be.
That
this is insane is obvious. But what is less obvious to you is that
the PRESENT is useless to you while you pursue the ego’s goal
as its ally. The past is gone; seek not to preserve it in the special
relationship which binds you to it, and would teach you that salvation
is past, and that you must return
to the past to find salvation. There
is no fantasy which does not contain the dream of retribution for
the past.
Would
you act out the dream, or let it go?
In the special relationship, it does not seem to be an acting out
of vengeance which you seek. And even when the hatred and the savagery
break briefly through into awareness, the illusion of love is not
profoundly shaken. Yet the one thing which the ego never allows
to reach awareness is that the special relationship is the acting
out of vengeance on yourself.
But
what else could it be?
In
seeking the special relationship, you look not for glory in yourself.
You have denied that it is there, and the relationship becomes your
substitue for it. And
vengeance becomes your substitute for Atonement, and the escape
from vengeance becomes your loss.
Against the ego’s insane notion of salvation the Holy Spirit
gently lays the holy instant.
We
said before that the Holy Spirit must teach through comparisons,
and uses opposites to point to truth. The holy instant is the opposite
of the ego’s fixed belief in salvation through vengeance for
the past.
In the holy instant, it is accepted that the past is gone, and with
its passing the drive for vengeance has been uprooted, and has disappeared.
The stillness and the peace of NOW enfolds you in perfect gentleness.
Everything is gone except the truth.
For
a time, you may attempt to bring illusions into the holy instant
to hinder your full awareness of the complete difference, in all
respects, between your experience of truth and illusion. Yet you
will not attempt this long. In the holy instant, the power of the
Holy Spirit will prevail because you joined Him.
The
illusions you bring with you will weaken the experience of Him for
a while, and will prevent you from keeping the experience in your
mind. Yet the holy instant is eternal, and your illusions of time
will not prevent the timeless from being what it is, nor you from
experiencing it as it is.
What
God has given you is truly given, and will be truly received. For
God’s gifts have no reality apart from your receiving them.
Your receiving completes His Giving. You will receive because it
is His Will to give.
He
gave the holy instant to be given you, and it is impossible that
you receive it not because He gave it. When He willed that His Son
be free, His Son was free. In the holy instant is His reminder that
His Son will always be exactly as he was created. And everything
the Holy Spirit teaches you is to remind you that you havereceived
what God has given you.
There
is nothing you can hold against reality.
All
that must be forgiven are the illusions you have held against
your brothers.
Their
reality has no past, and only illusions can be forgiven.
God
holds nothing against anyone, for He is incapable of illusions of
any kind. |