A
Course in Miracles
Chapter
12 - The Problem of Guilt
Crucifixion
By Guilt
The ultimate purpose of projection
as the ego uses it is always to get rid of guilt.
Yet, characteristically, the
ego attempts to get rid of guilt from its viewpoint only, for much
as the ego wants to retain guilt, you find it intolerable, since
guilt stands in the way of your remembering God, Whose pull is so
strong that you cannot resist it.
On this issue, then, the deepest
split of all occurs, for if you are to retain guilt, as the ego
insists, you cannot be you.
Only by persuading you that
it is you could the ego possibly induce you to project
guilt, and thereby keep it in your mind. Yet consider how strange
a solution the ego’s arrangement is...
You project guilt to get
rid of it, but you are actually merely concealing it.
You do experience
guilt feelings, but you have no idea why.
On the contrary, you associate
them with a wierd assortment of ego ideals, which the ego claims
you have failed. Yet you have no idea that you are failing the
Son of God by seeing him as guilty.
Believing you are no longer
you, you do not realize that you are failing yourself.
The darkest of your hidden
cornerstones holds your belief in guilt from your awareness. For
in that dark and secret place is the realization that you have betrayed
God’s Son by condemning him to death.
You do not even suspect this
murderous but insane idea lies hidden there, for the ego’s
destructive urge is so intense that nothing short of the crucifixion
of God’s Son can ultimately satisfy it.
It does not know who the Son
of God is, because it is blind. Yet let it perceive guiltlessness
anywhere, and it will try to destroy it, because it is afraid.
Much of the ego’s
strange behavior is directly attributable to its definition of
guilt.
To the ego, the GUILTLESS
are GUILTY.
Those who do not attack are
its “enemies,” because, by not valuing its interpretation
of salvation, they are in an excellent position to let it go.
They have approached the darkest
and deepest cornerstone in the ego’s foundation, and while
the ego can withstand your raising all else to question, it guards
this one secret with its life, for its existence does depend on
keeping this secret.
So it is this secret that
we must look upon calmly, for the ego cannot protect you against
truth,
and in Its presence the ego is dispelled.
In the calm light of truth,
let us recognize that you believe you have crucified God’s
Son.
You have not admitted to
this “terrible” secret because you still wish to crucify
him if you could find him. Yet the wish has hidden him from you
because it is very fearful, and you are afraid to find him.
You have handled this wish
TO KILL YOURSELF by not knowing who you are, and identifying with
something elseE.
You have projected guilt blindly
and indiscriminately, but you have not uncovered its source. For
the ego does want to kill you, and if you identify with it you must
believe its goal is yours.
We once said that the crucifixion
is the symbol of the ego. When it was confronted with the real guiltlessness
of God’s Son it did attempt to kill him, and the reason it
gave was that guiltlessness is blasphemous to God.
To the ego THE EGO is god,
and guiltlessness must be interpreted as the final guilt which fully
justifies murder.
You do not yet understand
that all your fear of this course stems ultimately from this interpretation,
but if you will consider your reactions to it, you will become increasingly
convinced that this is so.
This course has explicitly
stated that its goal for you is happiness and peace.
Yet you are afraid of it.
You have been told again and again that it will make you free, yet
you react as if it is trying to imprison you.
Most of the time you dismiss
it, but you do not dismiss the ego's thought system. You have seen
its results and you still lack faith in it. You must, then, believe
that by not learning the course you are protecting yourself. And
you do not realize that it is only your guiltlessness which can
protect you.
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